Little wins add up to big wins

I have to be honest, since my last post I still haven't blocked out that time to journal and reflect like I know that I need to and due to that it hasn't happened at all. Ten days have gone by and I haven't taken the time to do that one small thing for myself. I will be blocking out some time this weekend and though-out this week to make it happen going forward because I know how important that piece is for my mindset.

The past 10 days have been a little crazy (in a good way) with lots going on at work and at home. I had great intentions every afternoon of working on a blog post because there were so many great things happening. Instead, I kept getting caught up in work and the next thing I knew it was time for a shower, dinner and bed. This post is going to be a little all over the place so that I can hit on all of the little wins over the last 10 days because these little wins all add up to big wins! 

Last Saturday (February 27), I hit my 50th camp for 2021. I made it a priority to get my workout in everyday that Burn was open, hitting 6 camps per week including New Years Day. That definitely felt pretty darn good! Next milestone - 100 camps strong!

My oldest came home from college for a quick visit last weekend as well. We didn't see much of him as he wanted to spend time with his girlfriend but he did have one request when he let us know that he was coming home and that was to go out for a hike with us. The weather was amazing and after we got home from Burn we got ready to head out for that hike with him. Before we left it turned into a whole family outing. My mom heart was bursting! This was just what I needed to fill my cup!

My happy place  - back on the trails with my boys

We live in a pretty awesome place!

Taking time to soak it in and appreciate the beauty around us.

As we hiked and enjoyed the amazing day, I found myself soaking it all in - all of us being together; the chatter as we all got caught up with each other; the snowball fights; everyone connecting without being connected to devices. This was definitely a win for me - being present, being where my feet are and just soaking it all in. I love that this is how my family chooses to connect with each other! This is exactly why I work so hard in the gym... because I want to be able to do things like this with my boys for as long as I can. 

This past week was the 2nd anniversary of my Burn Boot Camp location being open (as well as my birthday). We had theme days and little member gifts each day as well as a blacklight party and a banana split breakfast bar. So many fun things keeping my on my toes and filling my days. All of the extra time and energy was so worth it though! They gym felt a little more like the pre-COVID gym - buzzing with energy, chatter and laughter. Here is a glimpse of some of the fun from the week:

Monday = Blackout Day

Tuesday = Crazy Socks 
This is my 4:30 am Rooster Crew

Wednesday = Burn Gear
4:30 am Rooster Crew

Thursday (2nd Anniversary day) = Blacklight Party

Friday = Bleed Blue (National Wear Blue Day)

Saturday = Banana Split Breakfast Bar

For the most part my workouts this week were awesome! The one exception to that was on Thursday - I was glad that it was dark that day for the blacklight party. I was so frustrated with my body and wanted to cry during that workout. My feet, legs and knees were hurting. Earlier in the week I started working extra hard on my double unders (15 mintues or so extra each day) and it caught up with me. I pushed through and took a couple of days off from working on them to let my legs rest a little. I did some extra foam rolling and stretching to also work on that recovery. Today it paid off... we had jump ropes in camp and I was able to PR on those doubles again with 24 consecutive!! I really wanted to hit 25 but I will take 24 because I know that it is only a matter of time and I will crush that 25 mark!

Over the past couple of weeks we also had the opportunity to see some family that we haven't been able to see much of due to COVID. Last weekend my step-mom and step-sister made a quick visit from Missouri. It was so nice to catch up with them and enjoy a dinner out in a restaurant again. Then my mom and her friend visited to help celebrate my birthday. It felt so great to hug her again!! Seeing and hugging family again was a big win and definitely filled my cup!

I may not have made the time to journal over the past 10 days like I said that I was going to but after taking this opportunity to reflect on these past days, maybe that is because I didn't need to. I was taking time to be present and appreciate the opportunities in front of me with family and my workouts and I was getting my cup filled in so many ways! Yes, I am feeling exhausted but in a good way. Over the last 10 days there were so many little wins along the way and they all added up to an even bigger win - a heart filled with gratitude! I am so grateful for these opportunities with my family. Grateful for fun times with my Burn family. Grateful to be seeing progress towards my goals! Keep moving and keep growing!

Work in Progress

Who else struggles with body image issues? I definitely do and have for as long as I can remember... the struggle is definitely real! Just when I feel like I am making progress something happens that sets me back. It's usually one of two things:

1) Seeing pictures or videos of myself

2) Shopping for some piece of clothing

First, let's address #1. Fun fact about me: I hate having my picture taken or being in videos! Why? I hate seeing myself. I hate it because I don't feel like the outside matches how I feel on the inside  and that frustrates me. Most of the time I feel very strong and relatively fit (conditioning days at Burn always have a way of testing that feeling). I know that my body is doing great things in my workouts because I am seeing progress in that area. I am lifting heavier than I think I ever have and am doing things that I once couldn't and all that makes me feel strong. Then I see pictures or videos of myself and, honestly, I am usually disgusted by what I see. I don't see myself as strong. I don't see the legs that can now do weighted squats when just a few years ago they couldn't do a body weight squat. I don't see the arms that can bicep curl or chest press heavier weights than ever before. All I see are the flaws. I know that I do this and it is something that I am always working on. But, it doesn't just happen. It is a process and is something that needs to be practiced. I have to consciously tell myself to look at the picture or video again and reframe my thoughts to be positive. I need to force myself to take time to look at and honor the good things that I see in the photos. I have to break the habit of the negative self-talk that I have going on in my head. Journaling and positive affirmations have worked for me in the past and I can definitely tell when I get too far away from that routine. It may feel silly at first but just as this negative self talk becomes a habit it is possible to replace it with a positive habit instead. Positive affirmations can help rewire our brains and change our perspective! For me, it helps to journal the positive affirmations each day until I start to really believe them. It is sort of a "fake it until you make it" situation. I keep repeating the affirmation as if it is already true in my journal until it becomes real in my mind.

I love when I can break out the heavy weights!

It never fails, just when I feel like I am making progress and let up on the practice of the affirmations because I am feeling like I am in a good place something happens that can throw me off course. This is where #2 from above came in recently for me. I was feeling pretty good about myself - feeling strong after several weeks of solid workouts and then it happened. I found myself in need of a new winter coat. How hard could that be? Let me tell you! It took 3 days, 2 different cities, 15 stores and lots of frustrations! Something that seems like it should be so simple to do - find a winter coat in February in Wisconsin/Minnesota, and it derailed my mindset!

In my closet I have clothes ranging from size medium to 2XL. My typical size is L/XL in tops depending on the cut and large or 12-14 in pants. Most of my workout clothes are larges. The sizing and fit of women's clothes is always a frustration because a certain size never seems to fit the same in different items and shopping is never fun. Finding a winter coat proved to be a real struggle- physically and mentally! If I was an XS I could have had the pick of every store but my sizes were very limited. I tried on larges that I couldn't even get my arms into or I couldn't move my arms if I did get them in. I tried XL when I could find one but again I couldn't move my arms or shoulders at all. The 2XL fit great in the shoulders but the rest of it looked like I should have a pregnant belly or a small toddler hiding in there with me. Store after store, coat after coat (or lack of), I found myself getting frustrated and shutting down. The negative body image and negative self talk reared it's ugly head and that lead to poor food choices when eating out which just makes the whole situation worse.

Back in the gym on Monday and I struggled with my workout! My mindset was still not right and my body was feeling the poor food choices from Saturday! I did do a pretty quick course correction with my food and got that back on track on Sunday. But taking some time to reflect on this whole experience helped me see that it's time to get back to the journal and affirmations. It is a practice and I had let my practice go by the wayside. I need to start carving out time in my day to get back into the routine. Just like making an appointment or setting up a meeting for work, I am going to "schedule" time in my day to take care of me too! It really is all a work in progress. I don't have all of the answers on how to deal with this but the fact that I was able to course correct and not let it drag me down for several days is definitely progress and I will take progress like that any day.

Monday's workout may not have been the best but I showed up and did the work. After a couple of days with better nutrition I was able to crush leg and back day on Tuesday as well as metcon today. After doing these two workouts my body is feeling strong again. Snatches were in the workout today and are my all time favorite exercise... they definitely have a way of helping to boost my confidence back up!! As for my mindset - it is getting there. I am working on the affirmations and journaling to get that negative self talk around body image to at least be more of a neutral self talk in regards to body image - I am taking that "I look terrible" and am changing it to "I don't look too bad" or even "This is me today and I look ok". 

This was me today post metcon camp.

This is me today and I look ok. Do I see flaws when I look at this picture? Of course! That is still my first instinct but then I stopped myself and said - wow, she worked hard in that camp. Look at that red face and cardio hair - she pushed herself.  I may not be completely happy with where I am at and there are things that I would like to see change but I am doing the work. I am staying consistent with my workouts. I am getting my nutrition in check. I am working on my mindset. I know that I am doing the right things and as long as I am patient (not one of my strong suits) I will start to see the results! There are no quick fixes and it is a journey for a reason. I am trying to embrace this journey that I am on and as long as I keep seeing progress in some way, I know that I am on the right track!

Rest, Adjust, Reset

Today was one of those days that had me feeling defeated and like I was just not enough. I knew enough to take the first step of taking a break and stepping away from the situation in order to reset myself. Then I found myself wanting to eat all of the things that I knew I shouldn't. Wait a minute, let me flip that thinking - I wanted to eat all of the things that I knew wouldn't help me reach my goals. Maybe someone should come remove the chocolate chips from my house so they don't tempt me in the future! Anyway, this is definitely a habit that I am working hard to break. I am trying to have a healthy relationship with food and instead of using it as a coping mechanism, I am trying to develop a relationship of food being fuel. But it is hard! 

Instead of reaching for those darn chocolate chips or an oversized serving of trail mix, I ate a healthy lunch. Then, I took another step that can be hard for me - I reached out for help! Over the past few months I have been challenged by some of my leadership team to allow myself to open up and be vulnerable. I have to admit it is hard for me to do that with more than a few close friends or family. But, I took a step back and asked myself what I would say to one of our members if they were coming to me saying these things and then I posted a quick message in our private members only page. I put it out there that I was on the struggle bus today and asked for help/suggestions and it didn't hurt one bit. I was a little nervous or anxious but I got some really helpful ideas.

• drinking water
• going for a walk
• making a smoothie
• adding lemon to warm water
• reflecting on what I am avoiding or not dealing with
• walking with music
• fresh air
• eating fruit or a smoothie
• chewing gum
• taking a step back to think about how those foods that I am wanting will make me feel and really thinking through if I still want it bad enough to feel that way
• Protein shake or protein balls
• calling a friend 
• cleaning a closet for distraction
• drink a warm cup of tea

journaling and hot tea for the win

 

Most days I would go for a walk, hike or even a quick bike ride but it is frigid out so that was off my list for today (note to self: get my bike set up in the trainer so I can do that in the future if needed). Instead, I made a yummy cup of hot tea and took a few minutes to chill on the couch with my pups. I took some time and reflected on how I was feeling and why. I did a little journaling to get my thoughts on paper and out of my head. I spent a few minutes chatting with a coworker/friend who knew exactly how I was feeling and we worked through some of it together. By the end of the conversation we were ready to pull up our big girl panties and move forward - pity party OVER!

Sometimes we just have to be brave enough to take these steps. Take some time to rest and adjust in order to reset and move forward.

Making a comeback!

Where do I even begin?! 

So much has happened over the past 5 years! I can't believe that my last post Riley was finishing 8th grade! He has now graduated and is a freshman at the University of Iowa!! WOW, time really does have a way of getting away from you. 

I guess we will start with what brought me back and take it from there.

My boss recently started up her own podcast, Be A Beast, to document her health and wellness journey. You really need to check it out! I can relate to so many things that she is saying. It has been so inspiring to witness her on her own journey and to follow her through her podcast. All of it got me thinking about this blog and how much I have missed it! 

In talking with her I mentioned that I once had my own blog but was unable to access it anymore to continue posting. She asked for the link so she could read it and that sent me down a rabbit hole of reading all of my old posts.  WOW! I was surprised how some things hit me. So many things have changed yet so many have stayed the same. But it lit a fire in me to want to get it going again. I did some digging and after several hours on Google I am back!!

Out on our first snowshoeing trek

I am no longer running - long story but my knees won't allow it much, if at all, anymore. Reading my old posts made me realize just how much I miss it and having that goal race or time to be working towards. I gained so much through running and felt like I found myself and my community through it. Then in an instant, I felt like my body betrayed me by not being able to do it anymore.

Fast forward to where I find myself now and I feel like I am right where I am supposed to be. All of those lessons learned out on the pavement and being a part of that community have led me to where I am now. I have been able to mesh together my passions for helping people and for working out with my career. I have also found an amazing community similar to what I found in the running community. About 2 years ago Burn Boot Camp came into my life when I jumped into the Operations Manager role of a new location and it has changed me in so many ways (more on that in a future post).

One of my happy places

Over the past 2 years I have thrown myself into helping all of our members and helping build (and begin to rebuild thanks to COVID) our gym. It makes my heart happy to see all of our members coming in and crushing workouts everyday. It brings me so much joy to be getting to know them and their families and to be a part of this amazing journey that they are on. I am loving every minute of seeing their transformations - changes in their physical appearance as well as so many positive mental changes. I see their confidence growing and see them helping and supporting each other out on that floor.  I am honored and blessed to say this is my job. 

Seeing our members on their journey to health and wellness has opened my eyes to my own journey and that has inspired me to want to document it again. There are so many times that I catch myself getting negative or frustrated with my journey. I have to stop myself and flip my self-talk to to talk to myself like I do my members.  My workouts are the easy part. They are non-negotiable for me. I do 5-6 camps per week and it isn't hard to convince myself to get there and get it done. It is part of my routine and I know just how much it helps set the tone for my day. The challenge for me lies in the putting myself out there and sharing about my challenges or successes. When it comes to my nutrition I feel like I am having to get back on the wagon again and again. BUT, I am ready!  I am ready to start documenting and sharing my journey. I know how much it helps me when I hear about the successes or challenges that my members are having so why not share about mine as well. All of that takes me right back to why I started this blog in the first place - to hold myself accountable while hopefully inspiring those around me! I am so excited to be back!

Staying active with new adventures

Embracing winter in Wisconsin

Riley at 14

 

8th Grade Recognition

What a year it has been for this kid! He ran cross country (8th grade) and made varsity for conference meet. He worked hard on strength training and running with us all winter at the Y. He completed the Indoor Ironman (full Ironman during the month of Feb) at the Y. He participated in middle school track and was the conference champion in the triple jump. He trained for and ran his first half marathon (ON his 14th birthday- recap to come). He graduated 8th grade. He jumped right into high school with band and summer school. He has worked hard at summer school to get credit for fall and realizes the importance of that. He has become an avid fisherman. He knows more than just about anyone I know about fishing and loves to be out there even if he doesn't catch anything. He has become an amazing role model for his younger brothers.

 

8th Grade Recognition night





Friends at 8th Grade Recognition

Family at 8th Grade Recognition

Brothers at 8th Grade Recognition

It has been amazing to see the growth and change in Riley over the past year. He is no longer my little boy! He is turning into an amazing young man and I couldn't be more proud of him! I have seen him step up and be more responsible and he has been more willing to help out when it is needed. It has been so much fun to be able to work out with him at the Y and to experience training for and running his first half marathon "with" him! It has been wonderful to see him become interested in fishing and to watch him in his element.

 

It is crazy to think that he is now a high schooler- how the hell did that happen? He was my first baby and now he is a high schooler! I am excited for this next stage in life and what it will all bring for him.

 

 

Here is my interview with Riley:

1. Name: Riley Owen
2. How old are you?  14 years old
3. What is your favorite thing to do? Play baseball 
4. Who is your best friend? Ethan
5. What is your favorite color? Purple
6. What is your favorite food? Pizza
7. What do you like to do with your family? go on vacation
8. What is your favorite toy? my fishing pole
9. What do you want to be when you grow up? Game warden
10. What makes you happy? fishing
11. What makes you sad? losing a big fish
12. What is your favorite show? Mountain Men
13. What is your favorite book? No idea
14. What do you love to learn about? science
15. Where do you like to go? to the lake (Lake of the Ozarks)
16. Who is your favorite teacher? Mrs. Arellano (band and TA)
17. What is your favorite treat? ice cream
18. What do you think about before you fall asleep? nothing
19. What sport do you like best? baseball
20. What are you really good at? baseball
21. What would you buy if you had $1000? fishing stuff
22. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? chocolate, chocolate with chocolate stuff on top
23. Who is your biggest hero? Derek Jeter
24. What do you hope you'll get to do before your next birthday? catch a big fish
25. What do you like to do best with your friends? fish
26. What is your favorite song? Thunderstruck by ACDC
27. I am very proud because.... I was conference champion for triple jump and I ran a half marathon.
28. I am afraid to.... go somewhere really high without a harness
29. Imagine that you can become invisible whenever you wanted to. What are some of the things that you would do? Pretend to be a ghost and scare people.
30. Pretend that you can fly whenever you wanted. Where would you go? I would go really far away to where it is good fishing.
31. Where do you want to go on vacation? Alaska or Hawaii
32. What is your favorite thing to do with Mom or Dad? run

Little man turns 7



Having a summer birthday and wanting to have a party can be tough... especially when your brothers play traveling baseball and have tournaments nearly every weekend. It is really tough when both brothers have a tournament in different places ON your birthday and your family can't even be together.  This was the case for Aidan this year- Riley had a tournament in Holmen, WI (close to home) and Isaac was in Marshfield, WI (a couple hours from home). I think it is safe to say that Aidan made the best of it and had a great birthday. He got to celebrate all weekend with his baseball family. He got to stay in a hotel. He was able to swim. But, the biggest reason he had a great birthday... 

 

The "twins"

... He got to celebrate it with one of his best friends and baseball sibling, Sissy (aka Cailyn). Sissy is just 2 days older than Aidan so we celebrated the two of them together all weekend at the baseball tournament!

me with the birthday kids

fun at the park



 

birthday treats for the baseball family

swimming with friends

 I think it is safe to say that they both had a great birthday weekend!

 

Exactly 7 years old!

 

It has been a year filled with lots of fun for Aidan. He played basketball. He is playing coach pitch baseball and is also doing summer track and field. He got to spend lots of time playing with friends and experiencing new things. There were several trips to visit family in Iowa and Missouri which he seems to love. He learned to tie his shoes (finally) and has lost several teeth. He has started to read more and is learning so much. It has been such a joy to watch him develop into his own little person over the past year. He is very social and likes to be silly but can be serious when he needs to be. He is very sweet and loving. One of my favorite memories of him from this year would have to be how he would leave flowers by my water bottle when I was out training for my half marathon so that I would find them when I got home. That always made my heart melt! He is still snuggly and LOVES to have his back rubbed. He is smarter than he knows and I hope that he finds more confidence over the next year so that he starts to realize how smart he is.

 

I know it sounds cliché but I really can't believe how fast the years have gone! It still feels like he should be a baby. He will always be MY baby and I am excited to see what is in store for the next year as he moves into second grade.

 

Here is my recent interview with my little man:

1. Name: Aidan Everett
2. How old are you? 7 years old
3. What is your favorite thing to do? Play with my friends
4. Who is your best friend? Josh, Jack and Sissy (Cailyn)
5. What is your favorite color? Purple
6. What is your favorite food? Mac and Cheese
7. What do you like to do with your family? go swimming
8. What is your favorite toy? toy cars- motorcycle and monster truck. Oh, and snuggle bear
9. What do you want to be when you grow up? Police Officer
10. What makes you happy? my birthday
11. What makes you sad? not being with mom
12. What is your favorite show? Mountain Men
13. What is your favorite book? Little Critter
14. What do you love to learn about? dinosaurs
15. Where do you like to go? Virginia
16. Who is your teacher? Mrs. Roesler (1st Grade)
17. What is your favorite treat? candy
18. What do you think about before you fall asleep? what I am going to do in the morning
19. What sport do you like best? baseball
20. What are you really good at?  running
21. What would you buy if you had $1000?  a cool racing remote control racing boat
22. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? vanilla with cookie dough
23. Who is your biggest hero?  Uncle Steve because he was in the military
24. What do you hope you'll get to do before your next birthday? go to the zoo
25. What do you like to do best with your friends? play on the trampoline
26. What is your favorite song? Can't Stop This Feeling by Justin Timberlake
27. I am very proud because.... I can run fast.
28. I am afraid to.... do a backflip on the trampoline
29. Imagine that you can become invisible whenever you wanted to. What are some of the things that you would do? Spy on people and play tricks on them.
30. Pretend that you can fly whenever you wanted. Where would you go? Virginia, Grandma's (Elkader, IA) and to Missouri to Papa and GJ's house
31. Where do you want to go on vacation? Virginia and Florida
32. What is your favorite thing to do with Mom or Dad? going to the lake

Isaac turns 11

This kid... What can I say? He continues to embrace every experience put in front of him and works hard at everything he does! He is one determined 11 year old. He knows how to lighten the mood and isn't afraid to be silly. This year marked the end of elementary school for him. This fall he will be moving onto a new building and lots of new experiences. He recently started learning how to play the trumpet. It has been amazing to watch him grow and change and I am excited for what is to come for Isaac!

Staying in line with the last several years, I recently sat down with Isaac to interview him. I am excited to look back in the years to come to see how his answers change over time.

1. Name: Isaac Paul
2. How old are you?  11 years old
3. What is your favorite thing to do? Play with my friends
4. Who is your best friend? Sam
5. What is your favorite color? Purple
6. What is your favorite food? Burgers from Burger Fusion (local restaurant)
7. What do you like to do with your family? go to Missouri
8. What is your favorite toy? phone
9. What do you want to be when you grow up? DNR Officer
10. What makes you happy? playing baseball
11. What makes you sad? when it rains and I can't play baseball
12. What is your favorite show? Mountain Men
13. What is your favorite book? UUUMMMM... I don't know.
14. What do you love to learn about? wildlife
15. What was the best part of your birthday? going go-carting
16. Where do you like to go? to my grandmas
17. Who is your teacher? Mrs. Turgeon
18. What is your favorite treat? ice cream
19. What do you think about before you fall asleep? the next day
20. What was your favorite birthday present? money
21. What sport do you like best? Baseball
22. What are you really good at? taking care of dogs (Mollie)
23. What would you buy if you had $1000? Fishing stuff
24. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? blue moon
25. Who is your biggest hero? my big brother
26. What do you hope you'll get to do before your next birthday? go to the Mall of America
27. What do you like to do best with your friends? play baseball
28. What is your favorite song? Kill the Lights by Luke Bryan
29. I am very proud because....  I am good at catching fish. 
30. I am afraid to....   be catcher again in baseball because I got hit in the knee.
31. Imagine that you can become invisible whenever you wanted to. What are some of the things that you would do? Scare people.
32. Pretend that you can fly whenever you wanted. Where would you go? I would go to Florida and Wyoming. I would also go visit Papa and GJ in Missouri and go fishing.
33. Where do you want to go on vacation? Disney World
34. What is your favorite thing to do with Mom or Dad? Going on vacation and to baseball games.